One Way To Go • Natural Attractiveness.

You poor thing! Life doesn’t go your way, does it? Stupid final exam overlaps your birthday, friends dragged you to a stinky pub, you had to wait for the bus for half an hour. In the rain. You’re frustrated, angry and you bitch to everybody you see. At least that makes it easier to bear! Or… perhaps not?! Hang on! Breaking news! Your victim mentality f*cks with your happiness. Even worse, if you take it too far, it will lead you down a vicious circle of self-destruction. So, are you playing the victim? Think about it.

What happens inside you is yours to control.

Great personalities decide to be the change they want to see in the world. Realize this: any gloomy emotions you carry are yours, and yours alone. You may not have control over pressure, hardships, crises, challenges. But you are the one who responds. If you hang your head in anger and frustration, you amplify your misery! A math challenge for you: if you have sh*t in your life, what do you get when you add more sh*t?! Yeah. It’s insane.

Complaining leads to isolation.

Unfair as it is, people don’t judge you by the troubles you face, but by how you deal with them. The good news: when friends see you suffer under your circumstances, they will offer you their shoulder and a helping hand. The bad news: misery only likes company for so long. If you don’t use the support you get to improve your attitude, friends will stop investing in you. Nobody likes an energy vampire. This is a fact of life.

The first thing you need to stop doing is complaining. It alienates people. They don’t want to hear how crappy things are and how much you loathe your situation! They want to hear that things are crappy and what you’re gonna do about it. They don’t want to hear how messed up your weekend was: tell them instead how messed-up it was and how you still enjoyed its few good sides!

Learn to bear anything with a smile and confidence. You’ll improve your situation just by doing that, and as an added bonus, earn the appreciation of your social surroundings.

Happiness does not bloom from complaint, discomfort and resentment. We agree that life can get really tough. The more troubles you face, the more important it is for you to be positive, joyful and welcoming towards everything and everybody in your life. So, are you playing the victim? Watch yourself and transform your mentality. Make the change you want. Spread some love for your own sake.

Sounds like a catchy slogan for a new service, doesn’t it? “Body Language Flirting! Amp up your animal attraction!” See, body language is incredibly powerful and it’s by far the most neglected area of flirting and seduction. It mirrors your mood and emotions, and transfers them to the person you’re with. Allow me to show how you can present great body language by modifying your emotional state.

FURTHER READING.

• Full article by The Bright Side: read it here!
• Originally published on Art of Seduction.

When I was younger, one thing had me simply stupefied: why was it that some guys seemed to have an endless stream of women pouring into their lives? I looked at my social circle and thought: “Where the heck does this fella get them?” It took many years for me to understand one thing: the real question is not “where to meet women”. There are ways to meet women anywhere you please! Let me give you some examples.

FURTHER READING.

• Full article by The Bright Side: read it here!
• Originally published on Art of Seduction.

It’s funny: as I share what I learn about dating and seduction, I keep running into men who wonder how to break through the “invisible shield” some women put up. You know the situation: you approach a really cute girl, and she gives you an attitude. “Sooooooo?” she asks, turning up her nose. “Are you desperate?”. Come over here, I got something else to ask you: are you serious!? Don’t you have standards? I’ll tell you something: the best way to break through that attitude is not to invest any more energy into that woman.

FURTHER READING.

• Full article by The Bright Side: read it here!
• Originally published on Art of Seduction.

Shhh! I’ll tell you a secret. I’m good at people-watching. I was at a party yesterday, and I saw this guy chatting with a flirty girl: as I watched them, I could literally see a big red sign flashing in his head: “How can I compete against the other men in here to attract that flirty girl?” I’m sure this guy spends a lot of time wondering how to be attractive to women. Let me tell you: instead of chasing women, you should be working on getting them to chase you.

FURTHER READING.

• Full article by The Bright Side: read it here!
• Originally published on Art of Seduction.

I remember that one day when I was talking to an Italian friend of mine. She had recently moved to another country: “I am disappointed in the men here”, she sighed. “In Italy, the guys are so forward with us girls, we have to swat them off with tennis rackets. But here, it feels like nobody notices me.” On that day, I had a fundamental insight: women want to be noticed! So many men out there wonder how to understand women. Here’s how I do it: I talk to them, and I ask questions.

FURTHER READING.

• Full article by The Bright Side: read it here!
• Originally published on Art of Seduction.

Look up 20 personal ads and you’ll know what women want a man to be. Funny! Charismatic! Stable! Sensual! Passionate! Mature! Smart! Ring a bell? But when you become funny around women, they only like you as the dorky best friend! You try to be sensual, they get creeped out. You tell them all about your stable job, they turn their backs. What do women want, then?! Here’s the answer: they want a man who knows what he wants – and gets it. Does this contradict the attributes I mentioned above? No! And I’ll tell you why – after this.

FURTHER READING.

• Full article by The Bright Side: read it here!
• Originally published on Art of Seduction.

Man has a sense for the discovery of beauty. How rich is the world for one who makes use of this discovery. Beauty must have power over man.

- Frankie Goes to Hollywood (War)

I’d like to take a minute to talk to you about love. No, this is not an article about Christmas. This is an article about your life, and what you want to do with it. There’s a choice about this that you can make any day, a stance that you can take and pursue with stern conviction from this moment on, like some of the greatest human souls have done before you. To whatever comes your way, your choice is to respond with love.

There’s enough negativity around. Don’t ever add to it.

Unfortunate as it is, hatred, antagony, annoyances or disturbances are part of our everyday experience. There’s the colleague at work who just can’t stand you, your pissed-off girlfriend who had a terrible day, the car diving by that sprays mud on you. Now and again, there’s little you can do about these things. However, you can do everything about how you respond to them!

It’s time you take responsibility for your interactions with this wonderful, crazy, unpredictable, moody, emotional, conflicted, harmonious world around you, and the magnificent beings that inhabit it. Let your prime motivators be love, and the pursuit of beauty. Look for them in all things until you can find them even in the direst of places. And make no mistake, this takes practice.

Whoever endeavours to rain on your parade, show them your appreciation for their human essence, their desires, emotions, flaws. Shake their hand and invite them into your life, tell them you have nothing but respect for them, and mean it.

Whatever frame of reality they have, whatever their character and goals are, you may not agree with them at all. And still, they’re your peers on a very deep level, and there, you are one.

Never stray from your values.

When love, truth and beauty become your immutable convictions, an immense inner strength will stem from acting in accordance with them at all times.

Instead of outcomes, your reference for success and fulfillment now lies within: you no longer depend on results as much, because even if you fail in an endeavour, you will feel satisfaction for never abandoning your core beliefs and values. Even more so, you never let anybody step on them either.

I’ll say it again: respond with love. This is Christmas, love is all around now, as they say. Do you have the resolve and strength to carry that attitude into the next month, the next year, make it an integral part of your everyday life? Keep your eyes open for adverse situations, where conflict brews, and face them with this attitude. This is not about bending over backwards to make others feel fine – assert your truth and stand for your values.

As you look into the eyes of the woman sitting with you, you wonder what it would feel like to touch her, and kiss her lips. Quickly, you decide that your impulse is inappropriate, and you choke it. Instead, you continue the mundane, but safe conversation you’re having with her. An hour later, you’re back home, alone, and you kick yourself for screwing up another date. Why is it so hard to be honest? Were the stakes too high? What did you have to lose? Was it anything you “possessed” when you came in?

Honesty: so much easier when you have beliefs.

I am convinced that with your belief system tightly in place, with a solid conviction, being honest will come quite naturally to you. Where is your belief system at? Let me give you a taste of mine. I believe in creating and pursuing my own truth, love and beauty. If something has validity in my frame of mind, if it speaks to my feelings, then it is my truth. Examine yourself, and find answers to these questions:

- what do I love?
- where am I going?

Note that I didn’t propose “what do I want?” as the first question, because to know what you want, you have to search your passions first. When you have a clear idea about what you love, you will find what you want: this goes for where you want to be at the end of the decade as much as the end of this week, or the day. Then, regardless what anyone else may say, “I love women and I am going to have several of them in my life” is just as valid as “I love this one woman and I want to have her solely” – as long as it’s your personal truth. Realizing your truth, and living it, will enable you to create beauty in your life.

Embrace and assert your truth.

“I’m wondering what it would feel like to kiss you.” This is going through your mind, right? It’s where your passion points you. Even as you are sitting in a café next to a lovely lady (not opposite her, I hope – it’s a date, be close enough to touch her!), you are on your pursuit of beauty. As you assert that frame, you’re less intruding her boundaries than inviting her inside yours. This is the journey you’re on, and she has the opportunity to come along. She is free to do with the invitation as she likes.

Yes. Yes, you may still end up alone in your flat. But will you beat yourself up for not asserting your reality? Did you follow your path? Are you still moving towards your notion of beauty? I sure think so. Well then, why is it so hard to be honest after all? I propose that you’re not solid enough in your conviction to follow the path you’re on. More pressingly, you may not have a clear picture of it in your mind to begin with. Figure it out, then assert it. “I’m not looking for a girlfriend.” – “Are you seeing other girls at the moment?” – “Yes. About 45, and some of them live in my basement.” I never said you couldn’t be playful about it. (tbs)

Do you remember the last time you turned down an invitation? Whether it’s a friend inviting you for a social outing or just a colleague asking you to take a break together, there’s a good chance you said “no” to something very recently, perhaps even today. Now, you may have had any number of reasons, and they may be really good reasons for you, but here’s one thing I realized: each invitation you turn down is a missed chance for a beautiful experience. Moreover, if you turn down a couple of them, they will stop coming. This is why today, I’d like to talk to you about the power of saying yes.

Unexpected opportunities.

In these days of modern information technology, it seems like we get flooded with options like never before. For me, hardly a day passes without some sort of invitation to outings: they come as digital newsletters, on social networking sites, or through communities I signed up for. There’s a good chance it’s similar for you. Do you often find yourself turning them down because

a) They’re impersonal
b) You don’t know anybody at that event
c) You’re not really interested
d) You “don’t have time”?

Well, the fact is: often enough, you actually do have time, even if it’s just an hour. Who knows what kind of surprise awaits you, for instance, at that artist gathering? You may just run into a future business partner… Or an amazing woman.

Loosening personal ties.

Now, the greater danger lies in turning down people from your immediate or remote social circle. Everytime you reject somebody’s approach, you thwart their intention to spend time with you and socialize. Assume that anybody who invites you does so because they are truly interested in being around you: how long will they keep asking before they give up on you and move on to someone else? “Losing touch” is a process that happens in the background, often barely perceptible, but it actually happens quickly and soon enough, you’ll have a hard time catching up. By not joining one social gathering, you won’t even hear about subsequent gatherings that people set up on the spur while they’re there.

You’re out of the loop in no time.

Don’t let that happen. When people invite you to spend time with them, think of the power of saying “yes”: you’re affirming and validating the person’s approach, and you’ll open yourself up for some quality time with another person that otherwise, you may actually spend at home by yourself in the misguided idea of “having more important things to do”. Beauty lies in the people around you. Keep them close.

I’d like to talk to you about something that seems to be a major issue for many men: how to tell a girl you like her. Don’t you wish there was an easy way to do that? Most of all, a safe way? After all, you can’t just tell her flat-out, right? That’d be pretty awkward. And it’s not like you never tried: you’ve confessed to girls in the past how much you felt for them, and it made them run away faster than you could say “what the…?”.

FURTHER READING.

• Full article by The Bright Side: read it here!
• Originally published on Art of Seduction.